more manageable chunks; LGW

 

more writing and pictures :}}

i actually studied attachment theory at sixteen and then got my PhD

i jumped off the boat and saved the drowning dog, no cat, i saved the drowning cat

i discovered a new species of flower it was pink and then i later discovered it spat money

it spat and filled all two hundred rooms in my fifty mansions

but im all humble about it too

so its super admirable

i brought crocs back to life

i ran a minute mile in thirty seconds

i made minutemade lemonade in under twenty seconds

i learnt to deflect stares and turn them into lasers that burn pubey beards just yesterday

i did what you just did

i already did it

i cultivated six million grains then sped ate all six million grains in again, under twenty seconds.

i do everything really fast so i have more time to do everything else super fast

i love my mother in minutes

kiss and hug in minutes

I've fallen in love forty times with sixty different people and i only did the fun parts not the gross and weird part where you love each other belly buttons and toes

I've...

sucked in my gut, span in a circle and let it back out

and everyone liked it either way

a kind of sexy grotesque when it protruded and a sickly heroin chic' when it came in

and just a sexy blur when i span

i make weekly love biweekly

i make weaklings look even weaker cause im so strong

my snail trail grows in the shape of an actual snail and my pubic hair is perpetually changing between the silhouette of a love heart and that of a tulip

and i am

i kid you not

simultaneously buttchugging infinite jest while pregnant with the future

she's going to grow her bad hairs, i asked her to keep the front ones short but she's not so sure, she wants the front bits long i think.

i don't mind either way,

they make once straight shadows curvy, together they do it,

and the shadows that ask and need and beg to keep their line, they just sit in front of

but face away from, to avoid embarrassment, but just in case, in case they want to have their line corrupted,

keep an eye out in the reflection.

i feel sick when i think about the tiny brown house, i know i could love it but just today i feel sick.

I've got a pansy heart today, a full stomach and my toes wont rest unless theyre curled under.

i don't feel like making my resolutions or my bed but ill lay on top of both.

i don't want to drink her beer or wake up early or fix my bike or do the dishes or have to search my whole house for the remote, why do i sometimes find it disingenuous to be kind, what does that say about me?

i disappoint with my unheated pool, surrounded by shaved parmesan sliced radish salad girls, and well permed serenadey girls, with the summer top curly dancey girl, i know i am a girl of some nature.

a girl of a multiple adjectived nature, i just wont write it myself, not when im sick.

writing, only when reviewed, finished and unsatisfied.

it's like meeting new people

it's like crossing off words down a seven word list

its how the large circles fizzle to tiny squircles

knowing that, that satisfies me,

comfort in a subpar underwhelming flat soda, two day old cakey hour.

there's pleasure in a ten year old camry

thinking that its crystal is the excitement and realising its a brick wall is the smile.

i met them on paper, i met them while we jogged side by side

to meet them in lycra and in between the shops

i met them while i was hairy and they were unbeknownst.

i wish i didn't ever meet them at all and i certainly wish i didn't meet them in the dark.

they told me, well it was you that said it actually, while they nodded and confirmed

well what they really said is, that you believed them when they concurred that for me, for now at least anyone who isn't almost entirely you or made of you shaped bits, is bad.

and you're just alright

but the arm and the move and the state of my sentiment when it isn't rooted in your skin, is mist

it barely exists

i met seven new people and i crossed them off a list that sits in my bedside table and nothing changed absolutely nothing and i took that way too personally.